So......today was Municipal Elections for Ontario. I and several friends took the stance my mother taught me to have....."If you don't vote you don't have an opinion on how the government runs things"

Someone likened it to fascism......I have never known my mom to be anything but a hard working lady who believed in solid socialist values that gave everyone a fair chance and she raised me to have the same values.

So to prove the ideology of such a statement isn't about fascism it's about fairness.......here's an analogy........you're friends have a pot luck BBQ, there's that one guy who doesn't bring anything, contributes nothing, but complains the burgers suck and the beer is warm. Should he be allowed to have an opinion on the state of that BBQ seeing as he has given nothing to be there, while everyone else has?

None of my friends, myself included....who take this stance mean that you don't have a right to an opinion at all....that would be wrong.

It is your freedom to choose not to vote and stand by it. And I will always back up any friend to that right. I'm not arguing anyone's choice not to vote....I'm arguing their right to bitch and complain that the government isn't doing anything or it's getting worse.

I gave this advice to some young punk kids one day who said the same thing a long time ago....."If you do not like the institution then become the things you hate and change it. Don't just sit there and say it sucks.......be proactive; not reactive. Run for political government. Find a candidate who you know personally and help get them into the position to make the changes. Sitting there saying nothings getting better isn't going to make it get better."


I encourage healthy debate....I encourage making changes where needed. I've got a couple of high school friends running in this year’s election..... They got involved because they are sick of how things are done. I just don't like using a broad paintbrush to say all politicians are corrupt....the majority definitely have a personal agenda, I don't disagree with that. I know most of them tell you what you want to hear and do what they want in the long run. But here in London; where the last municipal election was won on 43% of the total number of eligible voters. I don't recall asking 43% of the populace to speak for me.

So I vote.

For me it is my opportunity to try not to be apathetic or to make light of the women who went to jail 100 years ago so I could vote. That's my reasoning. And until I can actually make myself a viable candidate, then this is my way of being proactive.

8th Grade 30th class reunion

Last night was my 8th Grade 30th class reunion.
For those who showed up it was a great time. For those who didn’t you were deprived of the company of some astounding people.
I wasn’t overly popular back then and some of these people I didn't even hang out with, but I like nostalgia. And sometimes connecting with our past (not living in it) can make the future a bit easier. I got to thinking about what motivates some people. Ones I didn't expect to see were there and ones that I expected didn't come. Some didn't come because they had family commitments and others for reasons no one can fathom. But for those who didn’t come because they didn’t like so and so (because there were people who didn’t come for that specific reason) you must remember that holding onto past transgressions, moulds and shapes your todays when you let your past run your future. I learned that the hard way. Some of us discussed our childhood insecurities and how we've out grown them. And the more I thought about it, I'm glad certain people didn't come because they are not going to have enjoyed themselves because they're unhappy with who they are. I am having a hell of a time with my life right now, but I don't let it interfere with my friendships or socializing. That is what school was about more than the education, is the socializing of our children, to each them to interact with others in an appropriate manner. And any of us who have been through school know, children don't always act appropriately....but then again they're children. But as parents we can’t leave it all up to the teachers to teach, we need to teach too; manners, behaviour and most of all dignity. I was the "fat kid" got made fun of tormented and made to feel inferior. The last time I came home in tears my mother calmly said. "You're giving them what they want when you get upset. They're looking to get a rise out of you. Stop and see what they're doing and try to see the humour in it." So, I took her advice and laughed instead of crying and they stopped teasing. I think all in all, we take ourselves too seriously. It takes a lot to offend me; I'm more offended by ignorance than childish remarks about my weight. I was glad to see each and every face last night, even though my middle school years were not good ones for me personally. People change and then some do not. It's the ones who don't change who make life difficult for those around them and it just strengthens my belief that life isn't about birth and death it's about what you do in between and the lives you indelibly affect. The nicest thing about last night, is that I was warmly remembered because in my young mind I wasn't all that popular......but in the end; maybe I was more than I thought.

Making Your Own Choices

Temper, temper…..I hate it when someone throws a temper tantrum because you won’t accept their opinion as law; then delete you off their friends list because I won’t agree with you. We all make choices, informed and uninformed, but WE make them and we ALONE are responsible for the aftermath & the outcome of those choices. Anyone of my friends who has known me in depth for any amount of time knows, I will weigh in on your advice, but ultimately I will choose my own direction. It is called personal reasponability, I don’t need someone policing my choices or handing me propaganda based rhetoric to manipulate my choices. I read what I want, process what I deem important and move from there. End of story.

The last thing I want is to a have reformed junkie wannabe telling me what’s what in the world. How I should perceive things and try to sway my opinion using gross out tactics. I would never in my wildest dreams shove my opinion down a friend’s throat. I will speak my mind, but I would NEVER ask you to accept my opinion as law. I won’t be shy about telling you not to force things on me, and if you can’t handle raw honesty, then you can’t handle me.

For those of you who can’t make choices for yourself or allow others to manipulate them, I feel really sorry for you. Being led around by your nose, allowing others to do you thinking, who is accountable at that point for your choices? Do you even know? Maybe you’ll pass that responsibility off too. For those of you who seems to think only your opinion matters, find a hobby.

Parenting.......it's some damn dirty work

One thing I have learned over the years, is parenting is the most thankless job there ever will be. Sometimes you reap what you sew and other times it is endlessly rewarding. We all make choices and we make decisions we hope at the time are the right one. Never did I look at things lightly and hope they would work out, sleepless night after sleepless night filled my bedroom when I have doubts and or regrets. We are human and even on the best of days, we can never expect to be perfect...so who in their right mind would expect their children to be perfect too?

There have been days that I wished I had not chosen to become a parent for whatever reasons filled my head at the time, but in the end it was I who ultimately chose to take on this daunting task, not my child. I have been disappointed, excited, proud, sad, and entertained. There have been days of disrespect from my child yet I am as equally guilty.

You are wrong, you are the “bad guy” you are misinformed and uncool. However, when the chips are down they cry for you, ask you to help them and after a time when is it no longer your obligation? It's not about obligation it's about unconditional love, and through everything time and time again, I know this is what I get and this is what I give

Never through all of these things have I ever believed I was in it for anything more than what it was. What would anyone think...there’s a medal to be won, awards, accolades???? If that what you thought, then you best re insert your head into your ass and give up parenting right now. It is an act of selfishness that we bring them into this world. It will take undue acts of selflessness, to achieve all that you intended or desired, even when they seem ungrateful.

If you weight it out in “I did this I did that, it cost this it cost that. What am I going to get in return???”...........nothing.....because THAT is what the pay scale for parenting is.

If you look at it as, “I have invested this time, love, effort, days off because they were too sick to go to school, Sundays at the beach, walks in the rain, art shows, poetry readings, trips to the library what am I going to get in return?”....maybe nothing, but you will always have the satisfaction in knowing you did the best you could with the time you were given with the life that you brought forth into the world.

These were just things I needed to say to the sperm donor who thinks 2 1/2 months of his "valuable" time...grants him undue love, respect, and the worlds' greatest dad trophy.